I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize