blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize