I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize