I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize