I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Farmville is her only friend.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
