Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize