I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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