Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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