she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
