I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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