I accidentally had phone sex last night
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Drunk is a universal language darling
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
