Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
