i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
