He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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