Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
