Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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