maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
