I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's blow job season.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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