Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
