32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
