Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
