hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
