the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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