i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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