I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
