i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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