Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
