Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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