I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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