I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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