I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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