Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
