woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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