she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
