Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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