At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
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I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
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He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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