hell yes lets make some ravioli
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
