can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
worst night to have a conscience
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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