butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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