I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
