6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
