Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize