everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
