who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
