me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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