So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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