i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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