I heard we made out
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
