I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It was confusing and full of hummus
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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