Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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