the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
