I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we're making bets on your personal life
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
