i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
