I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
