think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
