the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
