Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize