y did u give ur computer a hand job?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize