I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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