Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize