The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
