I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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