What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
