More tranny stories later!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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