Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
